Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
