Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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