Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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