I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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