I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
