You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
