i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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