I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
