Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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