Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
