I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
