I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
