you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
