Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
