i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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