k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize