shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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