Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
