I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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