if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
