It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
