I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize