I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
