these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
