chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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