Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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