i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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