U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
