I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
