is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
