I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Couch. On fire.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
