That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
