I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize