i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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