I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I could fuck to npr.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
