I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
