i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
