If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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