You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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