Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Randomize
