What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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