Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
time to smoke my breakfast
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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