Do vagina's smell?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
