He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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