we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
