you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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