To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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