Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
