I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it's not cheating when I paid for it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
