return my video game
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
