Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
