508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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