4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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