Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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