I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
