Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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