so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
