Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
