You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize