Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
