Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
