He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This house was built for laser tag.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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