this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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