last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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