Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
