I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Pants are for mortals
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
